Love a Bully?
This is a subject that has been really been burdening my heart, everywhere I look- bullying has become a problem without any solution.
About a week or so, a friend of mine posted on Facebook asking for advise. Her little boy was being bullied at school and the school wasn't really helping. (Unfortunately, this has become too common in our society , and our schools have no idea how to solve the problem.)
I read all the comments, comments like "He needs to take Krav Maga." Or similar advise "Take him to Jiu Jitsu." I literally read every type of self defense class mentioned on that post's thread. As I read through the comments, every fiber of my being wanted to scream, and I had no idea why.
If you know me, you know I'm all about the power of love. I truly believe love is the most powerful force on the planet. I believe love can pierce the atmosphere, and yes, even the heart of a bully..
With all that said, you can understand why the whole situation "ruffled my feathers." Although, at first I didn't understand my frustration. But I knew I had to say something, and that I HAD something to say. I just wanted to make sure it was what I was supposed to say.. ..So I prayed.
Then I got it. Of course, love WAS the answer.
What if we were to use those opportunities teach our kids what Jesus meant when He said "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"?
As a mother, I can understand the desire to protect your young, to teach them to fight back, and to stand up for yourself. Its completely understandable!
BUT, what if we taught them to turn the other cheek? WHAT IF love was truly the answer in this situation?
Think about it. Real love-in its truest form, that kind of love fights fair. That doesn't mean you're weak. Fighting fair just means you're changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity, building a bridge instead of burning one down.
So I wrote a comment on her post saying "I recommend using this situation to teach your child what Jesus meant when He said "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you " I recommended writing the bully letters saying how it hurt you (the child) and another letter as the mother (because it helps us, the moms, to heal as well) and state the you both love the bully unconditionally, and that you choose to forgive them. That you'd both love it if you could instead be friends and move on, leaving the past behind you. Then put the letters in a "friendship basket" you two make together, full of goodies and candies. Then give the basket with the letters to the bully.
Even if it doesn't change the bully, that bully will have felt unconditional love for the first time. That seed will forever be planted in their heart, and one day it will flourish.
Plus it heals your child's heart and your heart in the process. That will be a lesson that your child will never forget.
I went on to say "More than likely that child (the bully) is hurting and a little bit of love can go a looong way. "
Now, I'm not perfect, I've made many mistakes and I've had to learn the hard way- that love is not a fight, but it IS worth fighting for.
What if we taught our kids to listen first before speaking? If they're taught to listen with their hearts, they would hear compassion instead of anger and would be moved with love.
Teach them to understand that hurt people, hurt other people. It's not personal. BUT love can heal a broken heart. Teach them to see the hurt people as an opportunity to use the power of love.
This could be also be an opportunity to teach our children the importance of dealing with our own issues up front.
Teach them to speak gently and to keep their voice down. People tend to mirror their enemy in a fight, but the more intense you get, the more intense they'll get. But in the same sense, the more humble and tender you become, the more humble and tender they'll become.
What if we were to start teaching, and inspiring our children while they're still young; teaching them to serve and love instead of teaching them to fight back?
Maybe, just maybe, we can help the bullying problem in our society...
If there is even the tiniest chance that we could change that, isn't it worth trying?
I dare you to choose love, will you accept this dare?